Adventures of Mandy Chan: San Sui: Ocean in the front and the Mountains in the back

Shan Shui--- The Sea in the Front and the Mountains in the Back

I was once asked what more I wanted with life by my boss. I had been all over the world, in countless movies… what else was there? When would I be satisfied.

My response was, “I tell you, when I wake up in the morning I want to see the ocean in the front and the mountains in the back.”

There is a show in Hong Kong called “Let’s get real.” Basically it is like a talk show or a game show and people call in and they will investigate the story. It’s about people who have been scammed or pushed and it seeks to expose the truth. You’ve seen Spotlight? Well if you turned that into a show that would be it, except it is in Hong Kong.

I had a story for them because I knew one of the hosts. I told them about this guy.. He was pressured by the Mafia, you know the Triads, and it was a really good story. She listened to the whole story. And then she said, “Good story.”

“So can you do it.”


Why? Was what I thought. “Let’s get real la, right?

“We can’t do this story because it has to do with the Triads and the government and politics.”

“Okay, no problem. I will save it for myself then…. I’ll tell it to you now.”

There is is this Doctor accusing a man of being sick. But this man is being played by the Mafia, pressured, messed with.. Bei yun wan okay. They say this guy is crazy. And this guy, the victim, thinks that the safest place that he can go is to jail right?

You don’t understand?

Okay let me start from the beginning.

This Mafia guy, he comes to this guy, okay this victim, whatever you want to call him.
He wants the victim to join his group. But he doesn’t want to, because A) the victim does not want to be in the mafia and B) this mafia is not paying him.

He’s not even paying, hang your lo mein

So Mafia says, “Look,you need me, I’m protecting you.”

The victim says, “You? Protecting me? Heh!”

“You go outside, you see that I am protecting you.”

So he set it up. He is walking out with the guy, the victim, and then he tells some other people, liang, thugs, that this guy will be walking in this alley way. So the plan for the Mafia guy is that these guys will beat up the victim, but then the Mafia guy will save him and then he will come over to his side, you get what I’m saying?

Okay but this guy, this victim, is not stupid. Those guys come over to him and stand near him and start pressuring him. Because even though they are the mafia there are rules still this guy needs to throw the first punch right?

But this guy does not respond at first. He does not throw the first punch. To insults he turns the other cheek like, you know? So they don’t know how to react, they look at each other, the liang, the thugs. But then the victim he doesn’t punch them but he says, “I’m not going to hit you, but if you come near me, hang your lo mein,  I’m going to  KILL you.” They freeze, like that. They are playing game, but none of them want to die.

So the Mafia, is like, nei lo mei he didn’t fall for it… now what?

But they follow this guy around. Every where he goes. It ends up, he cannot even go back to his house. He goes back and everything is stolen. So he needs to find a hotel. But every hotel he goes to.. They are all booked. Bei yun wan la you get what I am saying? So he goes to the five star hotel, because he is thinking, the five star hotel, they are international, they should be fine you know, Sheraton, Marco Polo Hong Kong Hotel, Inter-Continental Hong Kong Hotel, Ritz Calrton, The Landmark.. These types of places, I was sure I would have no problem there, there was not a chance in the victim’s mind that they could possibly have any connection to the triads… no way.

No! Booked.

Okay then fleabag motel la. So he goes to there and okay so there is a room. But when he goes out, next thing he comes back, everything is stolen, all his stuff, his money under his shoe, Air plane ticket everything… so oh sh….

So he takes all his last belongings, his Passport he last few money everything and he leaves. He is walking around now. He doesn’t know where to go. He can’t go home and he can’t go to a hotel so right now he is getting very paranoid.

He is tired. It’s been days like this okay. So he sees a cab and he gets in.

“Where you want to go to?

“I don’t know just drive.”

“What? You don’t have a destination? I think you’re crazy get out.”

“What? Okay here is 50 bucks just drive.”

“No. I think I don’t want your business.”

Hang your lo mein

“Okay take me to the police station right now, that’s 50 bucks already and there is your destination.”


“Take me to the U.S. embassy then!”


I count to three. And if you don’t drive I will jump over to drive myself.

Then he counted 3... 2…. Before he even said 1.
the driver he takes the keys out of the ignition, “No!” And he throws them out the window. Like that!

So then I…

Okay, so it is kind of stupid for me to continue without just telling you, I am that victim, that victim is me okay that’s why I know.

I was in the front seat fighting with the cab driver with my hands on his throat moving out to the car outside and trying to get the key okay. And then suddenly I see the flashing blue and red lights.

Chai lo.


Thank god.. Finally I have someone to talk to. Someone to help me. I can explain my situation to them.
I can…


There was like 15 police in the cars and the vans and the tanks (maybe they don’t have this in the U.S.).. They do? Okay but they have all this man, and first thing they come over they start working on me. You know, they are doing their Kung Fu on me with their night sticks and stomping on me. They handcuff me and do more and then this Chief comes over.

“Hang your lo mein, I can see all of you your badger number is 56481 and your badge number is 34286 an the license to that car is AM1678 you know I am already on the ground and my face is pushed up against the asphalt and the Chief come over to me and sticks his shoe right in my face almost in my mouth and stand there and says, “If you say one more, hanging word I’m going to kick your teeth in.”

And then what I did is I just turned my head quickly and shut up. Yes I can take all that punishment they gave me but that kind of pain I can’t take. So I just turned my head and shut up right away.

But I thought, this is okay, they will arrest me and I will be able to talk to someone to explain. I am in the court system. People have rights I can call someone. In jail maybe i am at least safe from the Mafia.


Hang your lo mein, they took me to a room with soft walls you know what I am saying?

And the whole way there they have me handcuffed and in the four point restraints and wheeling me in saying to everyone out loud, “This guy is Crazy! This guy is CRAZZZZZYYYY!” Announcing it out loud so everyone can hear you know?

  Your lo mein, now I am disconnected from the outside world. I can’t call anyone     Hang your lo mein.

The first thing they do is seven of them rush in and... shuck! Give me a shot. The kind that is supposed to make you fall asleep to sedate you. And they tie me to a chair like that you know?
But you know, my body is already contaminated. I mean I drink, smoke and there is no way that just giving me one shot I am going to go out, that’s just not possible. So I get up and I get out of those straps and I lean closer to the door to see out the window and look at the nurse.

And she says out loud, “Hey That guy is UUUPPPP, he is oUUUTTT!” Singing it to everyone and then boom! Again seven people... shuck! Shot. I’m still not out but I think, no if this continues then I’m gonna die so I don’t try to go out I just go with it.

What am I gonna do?

They keep asking me what’s your name, because he didn’t trust anybody any more.
It has been a day and they don’t give me anything to drink. And everyone they treat me like nothing. They hate me. I spit on the floor and the nurse hates me, but what am I going to do? I don’t care. Look at how they treat me. They don’t even give me water, and they have me hooked up to a catheter… look this is some bad stuff right now.

And the weirdest thing is in this situation I hear… now look imagine you are in this situation and right around the corner you hear your girlfriend or your wife’s voice, laughing. I wanted to call out to her, and tell her, “Hey! Help me!” But then I thought. No there is no way that she is here. Why would she be here? It must be a trick, just like those guys in the alley. Once I call out, bam! Okay see he is crazy.

And that happened again and again, where I thought I saw someone, from far away. Friends. Or even one guy was like, “Hey Mo si ah Mai Mo!” Like, let’s do lion dance! Let’s perform together! But I couldn’t quite make them out. And I was thinking.. “Looks like that movie I was working on.” But that can’t be right. Why would they be here. So anytime I saw something like that I didn’t say anything.

But it got to the point.. You know, with no water and the catheter, it was almost full, and if that thing reverses… no no I had to do something, but if I cried out I knew they would think I was crazy.

Now I tell you, in any situation there are good people and bad people. Wherever. The police, the hospital or wherever and everyone knows who each other is they don’t even have to talk to each other and say who they are. They each have a part, that’s why that Triad, the Triangle, there is a relationship in society to government, gang and normal people. So in any situation there is all these types of people

So I heard some typing of a keyboard… you know the sound? Tac-a tac- a tac tac tac tac…

So I thought of something, and the next time the nurse came around to the bed I tapped out.

Tac tac tac, TAAC TAAAC TAAC tac tac tac.

You know?


Morse code dude!


But if I cry out help they will just have proof that I am crazy.

But suddenly after I did that. The nurse and everyone, the whole situation around me completely changed.

“Aiya! We are not here to get him” said the nurse, “he is here to get us!” And she changed my catheter they started feeding me.. Everything changed.

So then later on, no I still have no contact with the outside world, the police chief comes to the hospital and he is talking to the doctor. And the police says, “If this man has no problem then we will arrest him and bring him to the police station. But if you say he has a problem then we will leave him here.”

So I thought, “Thank God! Now I can go to the police station, I can have contact with the outside world. I can explain to them my situation and what happened.”

“He has does have a mental problem.” Said the Doctor .

Hang your lo mein. But I didn’t say anything, they will have proof I am crazy then so the police went away and I was there trapped.

So then they had me in this… you know the strait jacket like Hannibal Lecter, and they transferred me to another hospital. A mental institute. I was in the strait jacket and I was so thirsty and there was a sink next to me but I just couldn’t get that water.

So… I struggled and I pushed, I breathed in and I breathed out I cup hei and somehow, I don’t actually know how, but the weakest link in the jacket, the weakest stitch, I was able to somehow rip that and then it continued to rip and I did get out of that strait jacket which is supposed to be impossible. I got to the sink.

I drank that water.

It was holy water because all water is holy when you have thirst like that but in you day to day life here in the states you just don’t realize it, that all water is holy. That all water is the water of life, provided it is clean and potable of course.

I drank it, and I washed my face, and I went to the window…

And I will tell you...

The view out the window was the Ocean! The Sea in the front.. And the Mountains in the back!