When I was a young Jook-sing, went to Chinatown
with my Father over a 100 dozen times. Everytime I was in Chinatown, I have
never felt someone being out of place. In my mind, while in Chinatown, my whole
mentality is that I look like everyone else. I eat Chinese, look Chinese, because I am
Chinese, despite being an Jook-sing. I didn’t have to second guess who I am. As
I was walking around Chinatown over the years, you can tell who are the tourists
and who are part of the neighborhood community. The tourists are the ones that
always ask questions like where to eat or where to go .
However, a couple of weeks ago, I was
at a Stop & Shop in Hadley, MA. I was visiting a friend and I had to grab
a couple of things before getting there. When I walked toward the front
entrance, I use my Jedi mind trick to have the doors slide open. When in reality, it was the sensor that triggered the doors to slide open electrically;
a guy could dream right. Well back to my story, when I entered inside, right
away, I noticed my surroundings. In my mind, I knew I was going to stick out. I
mean, I have been to a Stop & Shop over a 100 dozen times but not the one
in Hadley, MA, I haven’t. I grabbed a basket and made my way around the aisles.
I couldn’t help but feeling singled out. I have never felt like a tourist,
unless, I was in a different state but that’s when it’s alright but not in Stop & Shop. I even had to stop and ask an employee about an
item I was looking for, I guess I am a tourist now. While inside, my ears and
eyes became more ATTENTIVE than ever. When
I finished gathering all the items I needed, I was still unsettled. I went straight
to the self-checkout aisle like I usually do in the other Stop & Shop.
I scanned all my items, I’m was about to pull
out my wallet to pay. The grocer begins to bag all my items. I look over and I felt
so foolish, overly paranoid over nothing, betrayed by my own mind. At that moment, I felt
like a tourist, an outsider, a mismatch. I imagine the grocer only saw one
thing, another HUMAN BEING buying groceries like EVERYONE ELSE. I graciously
thanked the grocer for packing my items. When I walked away, all the outsider
mentality I had, has left my mind.
I just want to say, even with
everything going on with this world right now, we as human beings shouldn’t have
to worry about our skin color, even when you are in place you feel like you don’t
belong. The truth is that you do belong because in the end, you are a
human being and that’s all that counts for, nothing else matters, don't let your mind betray you. And I wish, I
could say again to that grocer, thank you for reminding me.